Like any good vacation you have to pretend to be a better person before the trip and make every effort to completely make yourself over for your upcoming journey. There are several things to do; you have to bleach your teeth, get new outfits; throw in a few extra workouts. You also convince yourself that you have to lose 10 pounds so that you can fit into your clothes and look good for all those photos! Yes, this is a dude writing this.
So to embrace that time honored tradition, I want to share with all of you my plan for the next 15 days so that I can pretend to be a better person!
15. Give up smoking (if I were to smoke).
14. Give up coffee.
13. Bleach your teeth.
12. Give up eating all together (excluding chips and salsa).
11. Buy jeans that are too small and pretend that they fit.
10. Buy new shoes; even guys like to have new shoes.
9. Disregard 15 and 14 because that is just stupid talk.
8. Switch to an all-liquid fad diet because you’re hungry as hell.
7. See a Doctor because the home remedy you made to bleach your teeth has your gums bleeding.
6. Proclaim something stupid on Facebook, for example “ Iceland Baby!!!”
5. Pawn items so that you can actually have money for the trip.
4. Go out and buy a very expensive camera that you have no idea how to use (but makes you look cool)
3. Eat a pizza buffet and proclaim, “ I am not eating again until the trip!”
2. Pack your bags 7 days before you leave.
1. Eat everything in sight the night before because you are officially on vacation!